Red flags can come at any time in a relationship. Sometimes they come within the first week of casual dating, while others don’t show their face until you’re 6 months in. And remember, not every red flag is as visible as physical abuse either. Here are 10 major red flags you should watch for before jumping into your next relationship.
1. Too clingy or too controlling
If they’re keeping you from seeing your friends or hanging out without them—a manipulative tactic commonly used by narcissists—I suggest you pack your things and leave. it’s never cool for a partner to control your schedule, even if they seem to be doing so “out of love.” You should be totally free to live your own life, and anyone who tries to interfere is probably not someone you can safely date.
2. They never apologize
If they do something wrong or something to hurt you (and they know it!) but never accept responsibility and rather just throw up excuses to why that behavior is okay or how it’s different in this case, that’s a major red flag. When’s the last time they apologized for their behaviour? Or never at all? You know your queue.
3. Always talking about their exes
UGH. Seriously, if they think all their exes are crazy and don’t see the common denominator, that’s a red flag. When they are always complaining and somehow always find a way to talk about their ex, that’s a red flag. They are probably not over it yet and there’s nothing worse than a relationship with the ex still lingering around.
4. If they keep your relationship a secret
If you haven’t met their friends, you’re not their partner. If they never posted you on any social media, they don’t take you seriously. Period.
5. You two always fighting over little things
Sure, every relationship have their ups and downs but.. if your fights are straight-up toxic and hurtful, if you are walking on eggshells just to avoid a fight, you feel isolated and alone after an argument, or if you criticize each other harshly, show contempt for one another, become defensive, or shut down, then you need to reassess whether this relationship is right for you. *Shrugs*
6. They guilt trip you
Some people have an uncanny talent for making their partner feel personally responsible and guilty for all their misfortunes. For example: ‘’I don’t care if you have a meeting, I already bought the movie tickets. You’re going to choose your meeting over these? You’re so ungrateful!’’ Um, listennnn, these are not people you want to date.
7. Abusive behavior
Finally, and of course,—verbal, emotional, psychological, and certainly physical abuse—is not just a red flag but a huge banner telling you to get out immediately and never look back.